Almost all of these parties feel the need to remind their guests that “No means No.” Consent, in this other world, is everything. There are parties for for S&M enthusiasts,cuddle parties, drag parties—all kinds of parties that offer a space for the open expression of sexuality in a new context each with their own set of rules. Kinky Salon itself is all-inclusive, special insofar as it offers a space for straight, gay, bi, in-between, or over-the-top people to gather in a safe, culture-centric space. Similar to clubs like Chemistry, which features a DJ and a dance floor, sex is not the only thing on the table—rather, it is the thing that defines the scene. Whereas some sex parties are just for getting laid, at Kinky Salon, sex isn’t a necessity. Some are there for the sex, which Whittaker calls “sport fucking,” while others are there to escape cultural norms and define a new, more liberating sexual universe that encompasses the full spectrum of their needs.

“Kinky Salon is different because it’s volunteer-run, it’s a community first and foremost, and you know you’re joining in as part of something,” explains Whittaker, author of the recent memoir, Polly Superstar: Sex Culture Revolutionary. “It’s not anonymous. And you’re not necessarily going to get laid. You can go and just have fun and hang out. You don’t have to have sex. In fact …most of them are coming for the community.” At Kinky Salon, guests abide by the PAL (“Pervy Activity Liaison”) system, meaning another adult must accompany them to help hold them accountable for their behavior. This means all guests are couples, triads, or chaperoned singles.